So today was…
Here’s my nutshell:
8:30 a.m. – Fish off to bus stop with Hank.
8:45 – Rev wakes up, by force, and made to get dressed for exciting trip to IKEA.
9:15 – Depart for IKEA with neighbor and her boy in Hank’s large truck, just in case.
10:10 – Arrive at IKEA. Strategically find a place large enough to park Hank’s large truck.
10:20 – In IKEA, noting all shortcuts to bathroom on each level for the Rev and highlighting them on the store map, just in case.
10:45 – Take first shortcut to bathroom. Rev fails to poop, time #1.
11:45 – Take second shortcut to bathroom. Rev poop failure, #2. (Ha. Number 2.)
12:15 p.m. – Stop for lunch at IKEA restaurant. (Note: NO WE DID NOT HAVE THE MEATBALLS.) Wrestle Rev away from line barricade thingies with a bait of orange juice and baby carrots. Soothe IKEA customers whose hearing has been maimed by Rev drawing up the metal “feet” of barricade thingies, dragging them up their metal posts, and letting them drop down in glee.
12:25 – Take third shortcut to bathroom. Rev poop failure, #3.
12:35 – Take fourth shortcut to bathroom. Rev poop success!
12:45 – Run back to lunch with friend by shuffling along concrete IKEA floor in flip flops because you can slide and listen to wild cackles from the Rev being carried on my hip. Not caring about people looking our way strangely at all, especially while being egged on with, “Run FATHTER!!!”
1:15 – Meander down to main level of IKEA and walk open-mouthed with friend down the aisles of floor to ceiling assembly-required stuff.
2:15 – Complete purchases; obtain free frozen yogurt from IKEA Bistro; split yogurt between both boys; realize one has a cone and one has a cup with no spoon with which to eat yogurt.
2:17 – Fish around in purse for something to fashion spoon from and decide on a granola-bar-spoon.
2:35 – Put loot in Hank’s large truck bed; safety fasten boys in seats; MacGyver a straw into a spoon with the help of Hank’s large truck’s Leatherman; strategically maneuver Hank’s large truck out of IKEA. Panic all of a sudden because neighbor friend and I only have one hour to make it back in time to meet the older boys after school.
2:45 – Pull over for the Rev to potty on a tree.
4:00 – Pick up the Fish from the bus stop.
4:30 – Arrive at CrossFit class and win mother-of-the-year for forgetting Fish/Rev snacks and milk back at home.
5:10-5:30 – Gasp for air during class and try to keep hands from ripping on pull up bars. Failed.
6:00 – Mad dash through CostCo while showering boys with samples of salmon, taquitos, Tang, and cheese quesadillas while throwing the healthy stuff in the cart for later. Makes no sense.
7:30 – Feed boys dinner.
7:32 – Hear Todd-Helton-the-cat trying to throw up on the only throw rug we have. (Why can’t they throw up on the hardwood floor????)
7:32.5 – Hurdle the couch to grab THTC to keep him from throwing up on the rug.
7:33 – Clean up cat puke. Off of the rug. Ugh.
7:35 – Look at the dinner table to see Hank laughing, the Rev belly sliding across the table to catch a moth while saying, “I yuv mofs,” and the Fish spilling his milk.
7:45 – Thanking God for the awesome family I have.
Here are some pictures of some stuff that we did this past weekend.
Kayaking in huge pools.
Stealing-I-mean-sharing chocolate chip pancakes made by the local Boy Scout Troop.
Spinning-fun-times with Dad.
Spinning-faster-I-mean-flinging-small-children time with Dad.
Ok. So you know this is about to go south, right?
Yep. South. Duh.
P.S. No Fishes were hurt during the spinning of the Dad or otherwise.
Other dads spinning-people-fun-time.
Children hurtling strangely in the background; Rev oblivious.
Fish rockin’ the climb. (Photo courtesy of Tomi Rendell – thank you!)
Whistle-blowing-fun-time. I can now only hear out of my left ear. Even the dog is hearing challenged now.
Dads calling each other so show up in the same outfits, right down to which pocket will hold their matching iPhones. Such sweetness.
Water dancing after the big kayaking pools were drained.
And also booty-bouncing in the soggy bog that once was grass.
Water + boys + end-of-summer = super-duper-fun-times.
Sunset monkey bar-ring.
Finding the moon.
Finding the sun.
Finding our tent.