I went to yoga class the other day. This is how it went.

11:15 a.m.

Have to leave now. Now. NOW. Put Ewan in his carseat, buckle him in, and look over to make sure Holden has clipped in ok.

Holden?

Holden is rolling in the grass, pretending to be a Jedi master of some sort complete with sound effects. I ask him, loudly, to please get in the car.

He can’t hear me, because he’s deep in an alternate galaxy battling “Darth Vayther.”

HOLDEN! GET IN THE CAR! WE’RE LATE!

(Keep in mind where I’m going and you’re sure to find the irony here.) (And oh yes, please, please, please, no neighbors watch me or hear me yell at my boys. Seriously bad mojo.) (Oh and one more thing. Don’t stop reading yet. This isn’t the part about being a great mom.)

11:45 a.m.

Arrive at the gym. Yes, I’m taking yoga at the gym. I have a membership there because they have childcare and it’s the only way I’m sure to go. They have a few excellent teachers, straight from The Yoga Workshop where I used to practice pre-children.

Still, there’s no comforting sweaty smell in the yoga studio room, and no statue of Ganesh or Shiva Nataraj. But there is a closet full of blankets and blocks and straps and bolsters, so that’s a plus. The room is huge so we don’t have to touch (it’s a blessing to be touched by another set of toes in yoga, and there’s a special bonus if those toes are your own, so I do miss the small studio), and sometimes I feel unseen. But at the same time, I am so thankful that these teachers are here and I can come.

11:55 a.m.

Leave a very happy preschooler and a not-so-happy crawler in the childcare room to quickly flip my membership card to the guest service drill sergeant and unzip my mat from its case while slipping out of my shoes WHILE WALKING to the studio. Motherhood has prepared me to do this particular art form of multi-tasking. (I can even pick up my water bottle with my toes while holding a child, as long as its not too full and heavy.)

12:00 p.m.

Sit on my unrolled mat and quickly get present. Breathe. Center. Ground. Move. Open. Breathe. Wonder how the kids are doing. Peek toward the door between my shins while in a forward bend to make sure no one is coming to pluck me from class to tend to the boys. Breathe. No one’s there. Breathe.

1:15 p.m.

Come up from Savasana. Wow. Feel good. Feel very, very good. Saunter to the women’s locker room, stash stuff in locker, slip into the hot tub. Now brace yourself for this added bliss: nude. Now I know that’s probably TMI, but my momma friends understand the luxuriousness of this moment. So that’s right. Naked as a jaybird. Full monty (does that apply to girls, too?). Not a stitch.

And as I sink in, budget my time so that I can also spend about five minutes in the sauna. And I think…

This is going to help me be a GREAT mom today.

P.S. I’m sure you understand why there are no accompanying pictures today.

P.S.S. Anyone up for sharing your “how to be a great mom” tips?

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