Here’s what Monday was around here.

  1. I woke up at 4:30, 5:00, 5:30, and then got up at 5:45 a.m. I was afraid I was going to miss the CrossFit Breakfast Club.
  2. Todd Helton the cat met me at the front door this morning with a fresh mouse trophy. It’s eyes were still open and he wanted to put it on my foot, but he laid down on it instead.
  3. I almost saw someone toss their cookies at CrossFit Breakfast Club.
  4. I couldn’t find the mouse trophy when I came home from working out, but now there’s a funny smell in the bushes by the front door.
  5. We’re out of eggs and bananas. We don’t know how to live without eggs and bananas.
  6. I think there’s a laundry monster in my closet.
  7. Holden filled two school backpacks full of school supplies and donated them at our church. I’ve never seen him so proud to be a helper.
  8. Menu for dinner included pico de gallo, which I had never made before. Um, how do you get jalapenos off of your skin?
  9. I accidentally stuck my finger up my left nostril and now it’s on fire. Like an inferno on fire. Like I’ll never have to use Vick’s Vaporub again on fire. Like I’m an actual dragon and can breathe actual fire out of my actual nose on actual fire.
  10. Owie. Owie. Owie.
  11. My eyes started bleeding while cutting the red onion to add to the pico de lagoo. Did I just spell “lagoo”? I can’t really see anymore.
  12. For some ungodly reason, I just now decided to taste the pico de gallo. My tongue is now the size of Texas and there is no doubt that I am of European descent. That’s nowhere near Mexico. This recipe came from a woman in Mexico.
  13. I’m calling the fire department.