On Day Three of our Incredible Oregon Adventure, Hank had the insane pleasure of going for a little ol’ seven-mile run down the beach. Not just any beach, either. The Goonies Rock beach, or the one with Haystack Rock as it were.

His discovery? That at low tide, you can walk out to this beautiful rock and see amazing purple and orange starfish as big as your head. After studying the tide tables, we decided to get up at the crack of crack and go on a starfish hunt.

We parked by this guy. He doesn’t look that huge, but he’s quite the greeter. You can see Hank and the boys walking up behind him in the bright red jackets for perspective.

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We were nearly running down the beach to get to the rock in time. We overslept, thanks to a restless night (I was afraid that The Rev would roll off of his bed, hit his head on the nightstand, and bleed out. So I woke up about every 15 minutes to stare at him until I couldn’t stand it any longer and finally crawled in bed with both boys. Oh, and there was the whole part about it being kind of hot in our room because we didn’t know how to turn the thermostat down from 85 degrees until too late, and then the other part about the bathroom stinking like two-year-old throw up, because, well, he threw up all over me at the restaurant the night before. But other than that we all slept great.)

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Um. Just to preface this a little bit, you might want to go ahead and notice how dry everyone is in this picture.

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This was almost the last picture I ever took with my camera and most expensive lens I’ve ever owned. Do you see the water creeping up? Right after we were solidly in the midst of those rocks, the tide came rolling in HUGE and we nearly drowned.

As in, I looked so panicked at Hank at one point, who had pitched The Rev over his right shoulder and was holding The Goldfish up above water with his left arm while all I was doing was trying not to go down while holding my camera equipment above my head that he actually had the calm and reserve to yell, “It’s ok, we’re all going to be fine. Just keep going!”

As in, the water which had been at my toes was suddenly and fiercely at crotch level – seriously, I was in seawater up to my underpants – and just kept rushing in and around and I couldn’t see where those huge rocks were anymore.

Scared the you-know-what-word-I-really-want-to-use-here out of me.

And Hank the Warrior King told me afterward that he could have swum carrying both boys to safety, no problem. I believe him. But it was still about three minutes of scary.

The Goonies Rock almost got me.

So, no starfish.

But moments later, a somewhat clearing sky brought us this beautiful and serene last look at the rock, as well as a good lesson in that when the tide tables tell you that low tide is at 6:10, but you don’t get there until 7:30, you might not want to try your luck. Just sayin’.

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The Rev was dry as a bone, thanks to Hank carrying him like a sack of potatoes. The Goldfish and I, however…chilly. But the great thing about kiddos is that when there’s fun and adventure, you just don’t notice a little chill for a while.

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And when you do feel the chill? Lucky that there’s a coffee shop very close by.

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There’s lots of good coffee in Oregon. We were in Heaven.

After a good dry-off and a quick change of clothes, we accepted our total abandonment of anything Paleo and stopped off for more coffee and a savory biscuit with a side of quiche.

Next stop? The laundromat. Yes, we spent two hours at the laundry facilities just outside of town to thoroughly cleanse all of the items of clothing attacked by the Great Restaurant Throwing Up Episode from the night before. These items included my one and only jacket and my favorite jeans. The boys learned how to be pool sharks and played arcade games.

Hey. You can’t make this stuff up.

Back in the car, fresh and clean, and off toward Portland we went. We stopped at recommended place for lunch called Camp 18. You’d need about five hours to explore all the stuff they had around. Like hand-carved, 4 1/2″ thick doors.

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And either a Neanderthal man or a very upright gorilla to run from. Omalord.

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And a weird topiary mossy elephant deep in the woods.

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And a cool train.

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And finally, a crooked log on which to put the camera for our first self portrait as a family ever. It’s perfectly composed and focused.

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Whew. And it was only 1:30 p.m. at this point.

Tomorrow, I shall treat you to more in our Adventure. Something about a waterfall and bikes and stuff… but no more drowning.